I found out late last night that a dear friend of mine lost her baby. She was 7 months pregnant and expecting a boy. I can only imagine the heartbreak she and her family must be feeling.
I received the news in a message from my friend’s sister-in-law who asked me to pass the word on to the other women in our knitting group. Apparently, my friend hadn’t felt the baby move in a few hours so she went to the hospital. They couldn’t find a heartbeat so they induced her and she delivered the next day. There were no obvious signs of trauma to the baby, the cord or the placenta and they have no explanation as to why this happened. They don’t know what happened, which I’m sure makes it even harder on everyone. My friend’s family has already had to deal with so much over the past few years, why this too?
I can’t begin to wrap my mind around such loss. It’s just so tragic. I am devastated for her. Living several hundred miles away, I don’t know what I can do that would possibly help. No parent should have to endure the loss of a child. I remember a line in Anne Lamott’s Operating Instructions that said if she could have one wish, it would be for her son to outlive her. She didn’t know how she could possibly survive his death.
Somehow we do. Humans survive the unsurvivable all the time. But I don’t think the pain ever disappears.
On this Memorial Day, I am thinking of those who served and lost their lives in service. I am also thinking of all our lost loved ones and the families they’ve left behind. I’m especially thinking about my dear friend, her husband, their 20-month-old son, and the son they lost yesterday. I just want her to know that she is loved by so many.
I’ll be hugging my little girl a bit tighter today.