The present

I was writing in Starbucks yesterday, and I saw a girl of about seven or eight sitting with her mom. She drank hot chocolate while her mom sipped coffee. They were far enough away that I couldn’t hear their conversation, but I saw the daughter lean in to tell her mom something; they both laughed. “Oh, I can’t wait until Adelaide and I can do that,” I thought to myself. “A girls afternoon out.”

Then I reminded myself that just earlier that morning I got upset as I put away Adelaide’s 0-3 month clothes. Many of her 3-6 month clothes are also too small, and I’m in the process of sorting through them and storing some in the basement. I held up the tiniest onesie, one she wore in her first few weeks, and tears streamed my face. “She was so little! She’ll never be that little again.” There’s a part of me that wants that time back.

Then I remembered that she’s sleeping for several hours straight during the night, that she lights up and smiles at me when I enter the room, that she can laugh now. These are things she couldn’t do a few months ago.

We watched Midnight in Paris Sunday night. I had heard it was good. I had heard it was the inspiration for my friend’s recent honeymoon in Paris. I also heard that Woody Allen won a Golden Globe for it this weekend – Best Screenplay and Best Picture for a Comedy or Musical. Without disclosing any spoilers, I’ll just say that it reminds me to live in the now. I don’t need to wish for the future, or yearn for the past. What’s that quote? “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.”

Totally cheeseball, but true.

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