I logged into my old LiveJournal account today to find a New Year’s questionnaire I answered several years ago (stay tuned, I’ll be posting it soon). While I was searching through the archive, I found this excerpt of a post I wrote in January 2005:
The New Year
January marks the one-year anniversary of a change in Tim and my relationship. In talking about this with him, we both agree there was a significant change last January although there was no particular event or mile-marker. I do know that it had a lot to do with me. I was confused about what I wanted. But then, something after winter break allowed me to put the past aside and let myself love him.
This New Year’s Eve was perhaps the best of my life. Tim and I were in Florida and we spent it at his friend’s beach house. At 11 o’clock everyone but Tim and I went inside. We stayed at the bon-fire and cuddled in the white sand. Fireworks on both sides from other beach-goers. The sound of waves. It doesn’t get much better than that. Then, we went inside and joined the others for the countdown.
I had a great time visiting Tallahassee. Tim’s brothers are just as he described. His grandma, tiny and kind. I looked through their old family photo albums. Baby pictures. Tim’s big, brown eyes. Tim gave me the town tour: his grade school, his high school. We even drove by his old Kindergarten building. We went to FSU and walked around. I took a picture of the “Bob+Carol” in the sidewalk. Tim’s parents wrote it when they were at FSU in the 70s.
Tim has articulated that he understands the move to Providence hasn’t been the easiest on me. Still, on our return from Florida on the 2nd, it was a great relief that we were returning to the same home. There was no good-bye in Providence as I went back to Boston. Moving was a sacrifice on my part, but he’s is so worth it. We, and our relationship, are worth it.
Wow. I hadn’t read that post in years, and reading it now makes me flash back to that time and place. So much has happened in the seven years since then. We finished grad school and moved to Philadelphia without jobs. We’ve moved a total of four times. We got engaged and were married. We adopted a dog and became parents. We’ve grown closer and remained best friends. Now I look through family photos of our baby and her big, soon-to-be brown eyes.
This New Year’s wasn’t as overtly romantic as the one of 2004 into 2005. Tim and I snacked on popcorn and sipped champagne while watching the first season of Portlandia on Netflix instant. We prayed the loud neighborhood fireworks wouldn’t wake our sleeping baby. It was a different kind of celebration, but still sweet in its way.
The next morning, Adelaide gave us the best New Year’s present. She slept for ten and a half hours straight. In her crib. In her own room! She slept through all the firework noise (and it was loud, and right outside our front door). She did the same last night. The true test is tonight, when I have to be at work tomorrow morning for the first time in over two weeks. We’re starting 2012 off right, and if I dare say it, I see a little more sleep in my future.