I went back to work today. It was actually a smoother and more positive experience than I expected. Everyone kept telling me how glad they were to have me back. I have a long to-do list, but so far my supervisors have been conscious to not overwhelm me.
Monday I wrote the following post sitting in a coffee shop while Adelaide spent her first day at daycare. I didn’t have a chance to upload the photos of her first day of “school,” so I didn’t publish it. Here is the picture Tim took of us this morning along with Monday’s post and photos.
I go back to work on Thursday. It will be exactly 12 weeks from the date of Adelaide’s birth. Plus, my midwife suggested returning to work on a Wednesday or Thursday to “ease into it.” We only needed Adelaide to go to daycare on Thursday and Friday this week, but since we’re paying for three days a week, we sent her today for a practice run. We thought it would give Tim and I a chance to get some things done, and we could make it a short day to “ease into it.”
I have to admit that dropping her off was even harder than I expected. I didn’t like someone I just met cuddling my sleepy infant as I turned and walked away. (And I hate that I have to pay so much for something I don’t really want in the first place!) As Tim and I walked around the corner, I was grateful I had today to go home and cry. I wouldn’t have wanted to head to work feeling that way. However, as the hours have gone by, I wonder if it might have been easier being at work on Adelaide’s first day. Maybe I would have been more distracted?
As we left, the ladies assured us we could call anytime to check in throughout the day. “You can call 10 times if you want,” her teacher said. I didn’t feel it necessary to call, although it did cross my mind. I knew we’d be picking her up at 4:00, and I was confident I could make it that long. After spending a few hours at home with Tim, I left with laptop in hand and headed to a local coffee shop.
As I sit here in the window drinking my iced coffee, I am reminded of my old life. The grad school days of writing and reading in coffee shops in the middle of the day are behind me, but I remember them fondly. I just received an email from our daycare. The owner/director wrote:
I don’t want to bother you on your first day back but thought we would check in and tell you how cute your daughter is and that she is happy and comfortable all the teachers want to hold her:) She has been wake and full of smiles, eating well and enjoying her first day of school. …
Her note brought tears to my eyes, and I fought the urge to sob here in the coffee shop. The next couple of weeks will be quite the adjustment, but I’m sure it will be much harder on me than on her.
Okay, time to go pick her up!
Edit: When I picked her up, she was awake and content strapped into a bouncy chair. They said she didn’t cry all day. She’s the youngest baby at the daycare right now, so she was fawned over. Seeing her there made me feel a lot better about taking her today. I’m glad we got our practice run.