Envy

Envy
–noun
1. a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.

Jealousy
-noun
1.  jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself.

I remember having a discussion with Tim a few years ago about the difference between jealousy and envy.  He seemed to think jealousy was more malicious than envy.  Although I didn’t agree and used the words almost interchangeably, their definitions would support Tim’s understanding as true.  Since then, I’ve been more sensitive to the words, and tried to use the word envy in place of jealousy.  Feeling envious of someone isn’t usually accompanied by resentment for me.  I think of it as something more harmless.

A few weekends ago I was reading message boards on FertilityFriend.com. There are women on there who  have been trying to get pregnant a lot longer than I have.  It helped to put things in perspective and realize the envious feelings I’ve been having are not unusual.

One woman relayed the story of how she was out to happy hour with a co-worker when the co-worker ordered juice and revealed that she was pregnant.  This poster had been trying to conceive for a while and upon hearing this news wanted to run out of the restaurant and cry.  When she thought about it later though, she said she wouldn’t have traded places with this co-worker for anything.   She couldn’t imagine being married to her husband or having her life.  And she didn’t want to.

Another person on the message board commented that there are probably many women who are just as envious of the original poster.  She has a husband and a loving relationship.  There are many women who want, who yearn, to be mothers as much as she does yet they don’t have husbands or boyfriends or potential prospects for either one.

When I read this comment, I knew it was also the case for me.  I’m sure I have girlfriends who envy me and my relationship as much I envy those friends who are already pregnant.  It will happen in time, as it should, when my body is ready.

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